We all know about the obvious scams and perils of internet dating. The old chestnut of married men (and women) looking for a legover seems a bit redundant these days given the number of 'no strings' websites on line that cater for casual sex on an industrial scale it seems to be sorted.
Having got divorced six years ago, and having talked to many lovely but totally unguarded females who I feel were easy pickings for predatory males I have to say its a worrying picture.
I know a man "A" who is on his third live in relationship, to the best of my belief his only motivation is "a roof over my head for free". Hundreds of eastern European women bombard middle aged men with "hey you look like a nice guy" every day looking for a mug. Its a dirty business
Cynical but sadly true. I'm stunned when friends tell me about what happened with their ex. Some are users, some are used, some want to be used, as the old song says. It's been going on for years, way before internet dating. As you say though bernie, there's more opportunities for those that want to use people, now the internet allows it.
A friend of mine Tony (now sadly no longer with us like a lot of my friends) got serially fleeced by one girlfriend after another that he met on the internet. But still he went back for more; One Thai girlfriend had twenty grand off him after convincing him she was madly in love with him and they were going to set up home in Thailand. She took the money (his life savings) to buy a lovenest for them both. Got on a plane to Thailand and disappeared off the face of the earth. If she ever got on the plane in the first place, he only dropped her off at the airport. So who knows?
How could you be so stupid, well you didn't know Tony did you?
Another woman (a relative so I have to be careful what I say) dated a man for about six months. During that time a few niggly things didn't add up but not serious things. Then gradually all the stories came unravelled in a big way. Once it started things just went down like a row of dominoes. The thing was, the truth wasn't that bad that he had to hide it. He was just a compulsive liar living in a fantasy world
The Thai girl probably did go home£20,000 is a lot of money in Thailand.
Our take is she was probably here illegally so if she went home she would never get back.
So now we have to get to the adult content but I know I am among friends so I will just tell it how I see it. Tony was a great guy but he was not god's gift to women.
I don't believe her libedo was naturally so high that she couldn't keep her hands off him many times a day, every day. Or that Tony was her natural choice of sex partner if her libido really was that high.
She took him for a mug but she was more than willing to "lead him on" if we are going to keep this polite and discrete.
Tony died of a combination of drink, drugs (but not the big stuff) depression, obesity, diabetes and not taking care of himself well enough at the end. Did she kill him? yes I believe she did, he lost it all, money, self respect etc
Post by givingitsomethought on Nov 14, 2019 8:43:50 GMT
I think being a cynical old fart is the best way to avoid those sort of things. A lot of people fall in love with the idea of being in love, especially in the way it's portrayed in films and on the telly - high drama, everyone looking like a supermodel, endless romantic gestures and so on. But really I think love is about the boring stuff - someone being there through the average day which, I think for most people, doesn't tend to be very exciting or out of the ordinary. But it's about someone having your back, knowing your faults but loving you anyway - it doesn't always look very glamorous from the outside. I do feel sorry for people who get fleeced but equally when I see a 60 year old woman marrying a 22 year old Tunisian man and then being surprised when he leaves her having got all her cash I do kind of wonder why alarm bells didn't ring. I suppose the allure of being happy stops people from looking for reasons why they might not be in the end. Not that you can always tell easily! Someone I know found out last year that her partner of three years is married with a young child and has been splitting his time between the two families! Neither partner had a clue the other existed and it was only because a friend of the secret wife happened to be at day out, many miles away from home, saw him, took a sneaky pic and then went home and did some internet digging, that any of it came to light. Astonishing what some people will do.
Someone I know found out last year that her partner of three years is married with a young child and has been splitting his time between the two families! Neither partner had a clue the other existed and it was only because a friend of the secret wife happened to be at day out, many miles away from home, saw him, took a sneaky pic and then went home and did some internet digging, that any of it came to light. Astonishing what some people will do.
A woman I had known since I was a kid (so I know her well and she's no fool) was with a man for some years who was leading a complete double life like that.
Basically, I don't believe it, I can't see how it would be possible to keep the two worlds apart? You would have to have separate clothes etc. You couldn't put the wrong shirt on or drop the wrong underwear in the wash.
Years ago perhaps if you were a long distance lorry driver but these days with mobile phones etc it would be very difficult to keep it all hidden for years.